The post title above derives from DBSK's 2006 Banjun Theater Drama. Oh how I missed those innocent days where the boys wore baggy jeans, loose tops and hair that well, by having a thick luscious fringe would go get the ladies. Asides from the nostalgic setting now, here the plot follows Park Yoochun who is reunited with his long ago high school friend, Hong Soohyun. She admits to him she is the one who was responsible for the fall out between him and his best friend Lee Sungmin - for they both fancied her at the time (typical or what?). If they could go back, she wishes for the two to make up for the lost time spent apart from each other.
The concept of "finding lost time" has always been an intriguing and curious mindset. I'm fascinated by moments that could have been, would have been and maybe should have been. Where did these moments of supposed happenings have gone to? You're left finding yourself with missed opportunities and disappointment when it's all too late. Nothing can ever recreate that moment for you to rethink and take back or give all your actions. The regrets and the "what ifs?" all sink in, consuming you to the degree of the quote "Worry is just a misuse of imagination". You can't kill time because time only passes.
I'm going to the dusty vault of my memories for this post. Picture me walking into a cob web covered wine cellar and pulling out the bottle not well known to others and kept under my breath. This is a time and here is my story.
...
It's been four years since we've first met and for the remaining three years we had no contact at all even till this day. Yet, I can still replay our time together over and over in my head. I still remember so clearly that cheeky smile of yours.
We went to tutor every Sunday for a year. I was very young and nothing was more important than my homework. So it wasn't a surprise that I didn't take notice of you even though at times you'd be sitting right in front of me. Then I remembered the first thing you spoke to me.
"Take a break (from work)".
The ice had broken and just like that a very simple friendship brewed, nothing more or less. Laughs and smiles were always exchanged and sometimes a few wise words of advice. It ended on the last day of term where you were headed to university and I was preparing for my final year of high school. We both didn't swap each others contact details. We didn't have phones back then and I remembered you didn't really associate with social networking at that time when everyone asked for your details. This may be due to shyness or it's simply just part of your norm but it's the part where I still kick myself for it today for not exchanging any kinds of contact.
I admit I've been fixated on this person for years. We both departed on mutual terms and we had never fought. Perhaps it's the idea of never seeing someone again and then you just pray that fate comes and puts you both back in the same time frame (kudos to OUAT references!). How I'd imagine us meeting again in a coffee shop cafe far away and we'd just start all over again. Just maybe, even this friendship of ours could have been so much more. This was a time too abrupt and I'm astounded that I should have realized earlier. Maybe I could have gone back to last day and did something different but it's just all too late. You've left me wanting more and I've fallen into a state of pure infatuation and delusions. I don't even know your surname or where you've been or anything at all and I probably never will.
He is not a stranger, but this feels so strongly as if I'm missing someone who's never been in my life before. All this lost time between us is unfortunate and it'll only take a miracle to reclaim something a little precious.
Wherever you are in this world, someone is always waiting for you. This is my lost time. Till we meet again. Take care.
...
"You think you die alone, but that’s not true. Nobody is alone in this world.
We have to coexist and take care of each other."
Azusa Hayano
Aokigahara Suicide Forest Geologist
