APPLES ft. Junsu & Ri-in written by DearskyeKim JunsuEven God wouldn’t have seen this coming. The pubescent snow that surrounded us, lying to us that we were innocent… I cradled her, closing his eyes to smell the addictive heavy scent and imagined that just once that we were innocent.
Jang Ri-in Even God would have seen this coming. The tainted snow that built around us, proving to us the prison that the world caged us in…he pulled me closer to him sighing, as I kept my eyes open so I wouldn’t dwell in the lie that we were innocent.
…
[ Apples of Istakhar ]
“All sweetness on one side…
All bitterness on the other…”
Kim Junsu Smile.
It was all I could do to make the general population fall in love with her.
Laugh.
That was all I had to do to make the rest of the world love her.
Sing.
All she needed was my voice before crumpling me like a dejected letter and throwing me aside.
Her sweet childish face was I needed to have my blood boiling. That smile that had worries running as if she were the Light Goddess herself. Why was she so perfect? And there she was, smiling and grinning next to Hankyung as if the world was the right side up. Feelings of discontent shot down to my stomach as she laughed and clapped her hands. Why was she so happy?
I laughed with mirth at the irony.
Here was Kim Junsu.
DongBangShinKi’s dolphin – DBSK’s cheerful boy – sulking because of a silly Chinese girl who pronounced Korean like she was a part of a drama.
There was no doubt.
May God forgive me for this.
I hate Jang Ri-in.
Jang Ri-in He’s at it again.
Staring.
Does he think I’m an idiot? I flash him a smile only for him turn around and ignore me again. Thanks. I moved closer to Hankyung, feeling uncomfortable underneath the bright light. Hankyung brushed his hand over my head protectively. But he didn’t notice Junsu.
No one notices the way he stares at me. The cameras don’t catch the foreboding glares he sends my way. Nobody notices because they don’t want to see, they don’t want to know. Not even Lee Sooman wants to see his famous duet-pairing claw at each other like jilted lovers. A tale of Romeo and Juliet gone wrong…
He’s laughing while looking at me. That’s a first.
“Hey, Ri-in.” I turned to see Hankyung reaching down and holding my hand. I smiled at my “partner in crime” so to speak. “Lee Sooman is holding an after party at the SM building. Coming?”
I laughed as I punched him.
“Duh! Where else would I go?”
“Gee, I don’t know…don’t you have a magical home that SM hides you in? Furnished in gold and all that jazz?” Hankyung mocked as he exaggerated with his arms.
I punched him again.
“Okay, okay, the cameras are looking and your duet boyfriend is getting jealous.” Hankyung joked as he nodded his head, indicating a figure behind us.
I turned around.
Smirk
Is what his smile fades into after the cameras, fans, and managers have gone.
Lips
Are what he uses to taunt me when he mouths word I cease to understand.
Song
Is the only part of him I love.
“He’s not my duet boyfriend.”
[ Apples of Sodom ]
“Fruit so ripe and lovely…
But full of ashes within…”
Kim JunsuThere she is again.
Smiling like she owns the world, laughing as if God had toyed with her hair, and singing as if everyone loved her voice. I clenched my cup and threw the fluid contents down my throat. It dropped straight to my stomach without doing so much as touching my tongue.
My throat seared.
Someone slapped my back. “Yah, Kim Junsu, why are you wasting yourself away like a drunk man? Live up! We just won three awards today!” And this is coming from Micky Yoochun, the same guy who cried the first time we won an award. Sarcasm is intended.
“I am living up. What do you think I’m drinking for?”
“Geez, at least look happy.”
I didn’t realize I was scowling. I grinned my best for Yoochun.
“That’s better!” And he walked away after giving me a pat on the back.
My smile dropped to the floor, spiraling down like a peel of an apple. I continued to watch Ri-in, trying to figure out why the hell she bothered me. Her smile, her hair, her eyes always kept me at a distance. She was the first to make me build a fortress around my heart. For her, I sealed my heart in a castle in the sky.
I threw my head back drinking what Yoochun had shoved in my hands. Non-alcoholic, I realized as I crumpled the plastic cup and set it on the table. There she was again, laughing with Jaejoong and Hankyung.
How charming.
I walked to the drinks table deliberating searching for something alcoholic. Half way through the drink, nature called and I slowly made my way through the crowd towards the bathrooms. They were outside, down the hallway.
When I came out, dusting off my shirt, I realized I had dropped my V.I.P card.
I turned around.
My elbow pushed back and shoved someone in the stomach. I turned around to apologize but immediately clamped my mouth shut at the sight before me.
Ah.
Jang Ri-in.
Jang Ri-in I winced when I saw that it was Junsu who turned around. Now here he was staring at me like I was the bane of his existence.
Not knowing what to do next, I gave a small bow.
“Sorry,” I muttered quietly before squeezing past him to reach the female bathrooms. I hoped he did not think that I had purposely followed him out. I am a nuisance to him. Okay, I get it. He didn’t have to tell me more with a gaze as fierce as that.
But, I was not following him. Hankyung had accidentally spilt apple cider down the front of my shirt, and Yeonhee magically pulled out an extra blouse for me to wear.
Junsu did not acknowledge me. He merely grunted and stood there. I bowed my head again, my hair falling past my shoulders, as I hurried into the bathroom clutching Yeonhee’s blouse.
I stared at myself in the mirror. I’m not ugly, I’m not untalented – why does Junsu hate me so? I bit my lip as no one answered me. I can imagine people laughing at me. “Kim Junsu hates Jang Ri-in? What a laugh!” I mocked as I pulled off my jacket.
“What makes you think I hate you?”
I gasped.
I spun around, clutching my dear jacket as if I were naked before Junsu’s eyes. His gaze was so scrutinizing, I might as well be pouring out my soul before him.
“N-n-n-nothing.”
He stepped forward. I stepped backwards, crashing into the sink.
“Junsu-shi, the boys’ bathroom is next door.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
He kept walking.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked.
I laughed. “What makes you think I’m afraid?”
Junsu approached me, and trapped me. He leaned in becoming everything around me. I held my breath, but not for long, when I breathed I smelt the scent of apple cider and alcohol. It weighed heavily over both of us – the scent of apple cider.
“If you’re not afraid, then why…” he said hoarsely as his head bent down and dragged his lips over my neck, “…why is your heart beating like it’s ready to be plucked?” The husky tone in his voice drove me insane.
I shoved him away, forgetting about Yeonhee’s shirt.
“Kim Junsu, you’re drunk!” Then I rushed towards the door, but his prowling nature got the better of him and he grabbed me from behind.
Swinging me around, gathering me into his arms, Junsu began kissing my neck, kissing my jaw line, and consuming my lips. I sobbed.
“Please let me go. Please, just let me go.”
Junsu bit my neck.
“Ah! Please! This isn’t you!”
He jerked away, fire burning in his eyes. “And you know who I am? Who are you to judge?!” He roared as he pushed me back against the wall. I closed my eyes, afraid.
Junsu did not come near me again. He headed towards the door as I cried, reaching for Yeonhee’s blouse to change into. He had ripped my collar.
“Jang Ri-in, you look like a goddess…”
I looked at Junsu, surprised.
“You feel like soft silk…”
I bit my lip.
“But your lips taste like ashes.”
He left me crying on the bathroom tiles.
…
[ Apples of Discord ]
“By which dispute is born when…
Beauty has yet to be determined…”
Kim Junsu I lied.
I lied dearly when I said she tasted of ashes. In fact, she tasted like apples. Sweet, delectable, but altogether a virgin. Untainted, and miserably holy.
I thought the kiss would help destroy my obsession with her. It only fuelled the fire. It only made me want her more. It altered the burning hatred from her…towards me. I hated myself for falling short.
“Earth to Xiah Junsu!”
“Sorry?” I looked up to see our manager with a worried smile over his face. “I’m sorry, I’ll pay attention now.”
Lee Sooman gave a sigh as he continued. “As we were saying, our next SM Town album will have the winter scene again, but this time we’re going to capture real snow. It’ll give a pure look to our album. In fact, each of you will be a snowman to represent yourself in the booklet. Now, we’re also going to treat this as a company outing. So prepare yourselves.”
We all agreed robotically. The date and tickets were set, arranged. We exited the room in the manner of importance. Lee Sooman first, BoA, Kangta, DBSK and so on…I couldn’t help but notice Jang Ri-in near the end, right behind Go Ara.
I held myself back a little. No one noticed. Everyone was too excited about the upcoming snow trip. Jang Ri-in was the only one without someone chattering by her side. She passed by me, not noticing my presence.
I grabbed her arm.
“Ri-in.”
Her name echoed in the hallways.
“Kim Junsu,” she acknowledged. With her head down, she jerked her arm away. Her tiny feet brought her only a minuscule distance.
I found the crook of her arm and kept my hold.
“Ri-in!”
She whirled around, snapping at me.
“Kim Junsu, what do you want from me?”
You.
Jang Ri-in His chest was heaving, but he didn’t reply.
I repeated myself.
“Kim Junsu, what do you want?”
After a long awkward silence, he said, “Junsu.”
“What?”
“Can you say Junsu-yah, Junsu-ah, or simply, just Junsu?”
I was baffled. “What is wrong with you?” I pushed his arm away and walked away from him. He pushed me against the wall, blockading my exits.
“Just once, Ri-in. Say my name without malice, without hurt, without pain.”
“You’re insane,” I replied as I pushed him away. This time Kim Junsu did not try to grab me back.
Realizing my freedom, I rushed away from the scene. God forbid, I looked back only to have my heart jump to my throat. There he was, standing there in a dejected manner, lost as if he were a baby fallen from his cradle. Was I too harsh? Stop it! I shook my head until my heart was empty of compassion.
“Ri-in, you look disheveled. Are you okay?”
Hankyung’s concerning eyes made my eyes water and my lips tremble.
“No,” I breathed.
“What’s wrong then? You can tell ‘Gege.’”
I leaned into Hankyung’s chest as he wrapped his arms around me. I began whispering, and he listened. I stained his shirt with salty tear, and he did not care. All Hankyung did, as a loving brother would, was pet and kiss the top of my head until I stopped crying.
“You know, guys only do that when they want to hide their true feelings. I’m sure this guy really likes you on the inside.”
That made me laugh. Hankyung looked perplexed.
I dried my tears, unable to stop laughing.
Kim Junsu has a crush on me?
Perhaps when pigs fly and snow falls red.
[ Apple of Prince Ahmed ]
“Purchased at the price of compassion…
It is the cure for any – every disorder…”
Kim Junsu “Please be careful while walking up this hill!”
I decided to ignore the annoying tour guide as I stomped my feet into the rocks. I nearly slipped among the snow. Yoochun was oblivious to my behavior as he happily bounced beside me. “Junsu-yah!” I winched as he latched onto my arm.
“Yoochun! That hurts!” I whined as I pulled him off.
“Aw, my poor Xiah! Want a kiss-kiss?”
Okay, not that far.
“No!”
I shook my head and skipped a few steps to evade Yoochun’s hold. He laughed but was far too lazy to try and catch up with me. He stayed, entertaining himself with Changmin. When I faced forward, I bumped into the person next to me.
“Sorry,” I said quickly.
Oh. Him.
Hankyung…
“It’s okay!”
I clenched my fist as he smiled his perfect face in front of me. Hankyung’s crescent eyes glistened as he waved and told me it was okay. I reduced my anger to a grunt and stormed away, leaving the poor boy confused.
It took all the power in me not to break his arms. The delicate fingers he used to swipe Ri-in’s hair away from her eyes, the cunning words he used to trick her into doing stupid things – I wanted the power to do the same. The power to make her smile, laugh and sing for me. I cracked my knuckles as I heard her jovial laughter mix with Hankyung’s.
They were right behind me, like a plaguing shadow to remind me of my loss.
In a fit of fury, I kicked a large rock. It didn’t budge.
With more force, I kicked it again.
My strength rebounded, and suddenly I felt myself falling backwards.
Tripping.
Falling…
falling…
and grabbing the closest thing next to me.
Jang Ri-in I screamed as someone pulled onto my sweater, dragging me towards the floor. I screamed for Hankyung.
“Help me!” I cried as I tried to reach for Hankyung. However, the weight was too heavy and even as Hankyung darted forward, our hands missed each other’s.
“RI-IN!” he yelled, panic striking his face.
And his face faded as I rolled down the hill.
Leaves stuck to my clothing, thistles poked my face and rocks dug into my skin hurting me deeply. I whimpered every time my head hit a rock and wondered why the hell I had not fainted yet. Then the rolling came to a stop. I landed on top of the person who had pulled me down.
I landed hard, and the person grunted.
I pulled back to say a quick sorry, only to discover that it was Kim Junsu.
“You!” I managed to say after spluttering meaningless words.
He sat up, groaned, and dusted himself off. “Yes. Me.”
I stomped my foot and began storming down the rest of the path. I did not know where I was going. I did not care. Anywhere was safe without vampire-istic, werewolf Kim Junsu. I heard the footsteps behind me and continued walking quickly.
“Ri-in!”
I kept walking.
“Jang Ri-in!”
He was getting closer.
I sped up.
“Ri-in!” he growled wolfishly as he took a hold of my arm and pulled me until I was pressed against his chest.
“Let me go, Kim Junsu.”
“No,” he said.
“What?”
“Can’t. Not when I have you now.”
I struggled. He held tighter.
“Cure my pain, just this once.”
[ Apple of the Eye ]
“The pupil is small, black like an apple…
Anything extremely dear and precious…”
Kim JunsuShe looked absolutely shocked.
I trembled, trying to explain myself, but my mind was only focused on the warmth in my arms.
Her.
When she struggled to move away, I pulled her closer and buried my face in her hair. Her hair was scented, sweet like her kisses. Apples.
“Junsu…” she muttered weakly.
I gasped as I moved my lips lower. “Again,” I interrupted before she could tell me to stop. “Say my name again.” Cure this aching pain in my heart until it becomes a dull throb.
“Junsu-yah.”
I nearly laughed in exasperation with joy. I gathered her in my arms and kissed her forehead, the sweetest thing I could do without violating her security. She did not struggle.
The kiss was sweeter than her lips.
I reluctantly peeled away. She moved back, but I caught her hand with mine. She was a little surprised. I squeezed her hand reassured. I would never hurt her. She had to know that. Ri-in moved uncomfortably until I gripped her tightly. She didn’t relax, but agreed. It was enough.
Her touch is enough.
We began wandering, lost. Ri-in screamed for Hankyung – for anyone – as we walked the lonely forest. Night was drawing near. We continued walking towards any amount of light that was visible, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that the sky would later become a blanket of black. We were out of luck. The moon failed to shine.
“We should find shelter,” I said.
“Okay,” she murmured quietly.
Her voice was hoarse from shouting.
I wanted to hold her again and kiss her until she could sing again.
Perhaps this time, sing for me.
And then…it came.
One small flake, one small drop on the tip of my nose.
The rest fell like raindrops, sprinkling Ri-in’s hair with droplets of white.
Snow.
Forgiveness, purity.
Jang Ri-in To think I was experiencing my first snowfall with Kim Junsu. I laughed as I released myself from him and lifted my hands to hold the snow. Little drops fell into my palm appearing like freckles on a sun shined face.
I stuck my tongue out to capture a flake. Once I felt the coolness, I darted my tongue back into my mouth feeling the bit of snow dissolve into water, and then nothing.
For the first time, I looked at Junsu willingly.
He did not avert his gaze, and I could see his face turn a slight red.
“You look beautiful.”
Was I hearing right?
Before I could ask again, he grabbed my hand and started hurrying towards several large rocks. There was worry etched in his brow. Suddenly I felt a cold gust of wind sweep over me. I shivered, and Junsu pulled me closer to him. His hand was at the small of my back as he ushered me towards a hollowed cave.
“Go in,” he urged.
“What?”
He hissed. “Do you want to freeze over and die?”
I scurried into the small, cramped cave. A gush of wind blew in and effectively froze the dumbfounded expression on my face. Junsu crawled in and blocked the entrance of the cave. I folded my legs and pulled them to my chest.
“Junsu, what’s wrong?”
“Freaking snowfall is turning into a snow storm.”
His face was hard. His expression deathly as he lifted his jacket and sealed the entrance.
“Are we going to be safe then?”
Junsu’s eyes softened. “You’ll be safe. I promise.”
I crawled deeper into the cave, realizing that there was more space inside. I touched Junsu softly, beckoning him to come in. At first he rejected. I sat beside him, whispering softly into his ear, breathing hot breaths over his hands.
Then a hard ball of snow struck Junsu in the back. He did not have to deny it. I heard it crack like a sickening sound of broken bones.
“Get in here!” I demanded.
Slowly, as he inched deeper into the cave…
He drifted closer into my heart.
[ Apple of Idun ]
“Taste this apple…
Everlasting youth…”
Kim JunsuSoftly.
Her voice was a whisper that guided me in the darkness. When I stumbled, her hand came forward, steadying me. I reveled in the joy of holding her hand.
Her willing hand.
Then we settled down and she moved away. I continued to sit before the entrance, blocking the snow from hitting her.
We allowed silence to speak forgiveness and longing for each other.
“Junsu…I’m tired.”
“Go to sleep,” I urged. “It’s okay, I’ll watch over you.”
Ri-in looked stubborn for a moment. She frowned, but I nodded towards the corner, motioning for her to move in that direction. I sat down and gasped at the coldness of the floor. It was covered in snow as well. I began to worry.
I desperately wanted wood. Stones. Matches.
Anything to keep my Ri-in warm.
My Ri-in. I smiled. I like the sound of that. My Ri-in…
“Junsu?”
The tone of her voice was intoxicating.
“Yes?”
“Are you cold?”
“No,” I replied, telling the truth.
“Oh…”
Then I realized what she was getting at.
I crawled over by her side and scooped her up. Then I lay down and held her in my arms. She stiffened for a bit, but did not move away. I heard her raspy voice, thick with surprise, speak to me and I closed my eyes, imagining the possibilities of us having a future like this.
“Junsu, what are you doing?”
“Are you cold?” I asked.
She nodded, admitting. “A bit.”
“I’m keeping you warm.”
“But – ”
I placed a finger over her mouth.
“Just this once,” I murmured. “Tomorrow we can forget this.”
My answer satisfied her, but tore away parts of my heart. I cradled her closer to me as I prayed that tomorrow would never come. I did not want to forget this.
May tomorrow never come so I can have her for eternity.
So we can be timeless.
Jang Ri-in Junsu was asleep.
I could hear it in his breathing. I could feel it in his hold.
Feeling a little uncomfortable, I wiggled to remove myself from his grasp. To my surprise, Junsu pulled me tighter. His arm stiffened and refused to let me go. His breath radiated warm, ironically sending chills down my spine.
“Don’t Ri-in.”
I stopped.
He sighed, a sign of deep sleep.
“I’m really sorry!”
Junsu began thrashing.
“Please! I’m sorry! Don’t hate me…” he was whimpering. “Ri-in, don’t hate me.”
My heart lurched. It pained as I turned around to look at this sleeping angel. This man who was willing to protect me at all costs. A frown scarred his brow as he twitched, begging for the tension to be released. I wormed my arm free and reached up to touch his cheek.
He leaned into my palm.
“Ri-in…” he moaned. “I’m sorry.”
I found myself speaking to him as he clung onto me.
“Okay. Okay, I know.”
“I’m sorry,” he cried.
I hushed him softly, moving up. An unexplainable emotion took over me as I leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
He tasted salty – like ashes.
“I know, I know,” I chanted like a mantra. If I was really a singer, I prayed that my voice would ease whatever pain Junsu was feeling.
It seemed to work.
Junsu’s hand came up and worked it’s way through my hair. He tangled his hand in my tendrils and gave a soft sigh. With that lovely gesture, I smiled and closed my eyes, falling asleep.
[ Apples ]
Kim Junsu I dreamed last night that Ri-in said she loved me. Not through words, but through a kiss on the forehead.
The snowfall, the cave, the warmth of Ri-in against mine was the best night of my life.
Jang Ri-in I dreamed last night that Junsu woke up kissing me. He said he loved me with great effort, and that the pain he inflicted was only the work of an inner demon.
The snowfall, the cave, the warmth of his body against mine was the best night of my life.
However, it was the last night of his.
--END(Ending Explanation: Kim Junsu did not wake after that night. He froze to death protecting Ri-in.)
Explanation of APPLES: Reference Site Whatever the apples describe - it relates to their relationship/personality of Ri-in & Junsu. The little quote underneath each apple describes what the apples mean. I didn't make them up though - they actually are literary terms. No, I did not make up those names of the "Apples of ..." I actually had to google them. I've always wanted to write about the Apples of Istakhar, and so this is what I came up with. =] Apples have always been a controversial fruit. So common, yet so appealing. I hope I have achieved that with this one-shot.
