Here I come 1.1.11!

Koizora (Sky of Love)

 “If I had not met you that way, then I would not have experienced that pain and sadness and memories filled with tears, but if I had not met you, I would also not experienced that joy, excitement, preciousness, happiness and the feeling of absolute happiness. How are you now? I continue to love the vast blue sky.” - Tahara Mika

Film: Koizora (Sky of Love) 
Language: Japanese 
Genre: Romance, High School


Bawled my eyes out at 3 in the morning watching this movie! I've always been a big fan of Aragaki Yui for her acting and cuteness, so to see her as a maturing woman and carer in love for Koizora was well characterized. After the movie, I couldn't help but wonder why Hiro had such interest in Mika at the beginning. It was not explained in the film so I questioned "What fascinated him about Mika? Why her?". I decided to pick up the manga for more answers therefore, Koizora the film alone may not be enough for audiences. 

LOOK! HE EVEN GAVE HER A RAINBOW FOR HER BIRTHDAY.

Sigh* My expectations are even higher now. 

Friday

singsupplies.com →

senaponin:

A six-year-old HIV carrier, has been living alone since his parents died of AIDS. The boy, known as Ah Long, does his own washing, cooking, studying and he also rears some chicken. He lives in his parents’ house at the foothill village of Malu Mountain in Liuzhou in Guangxi Province, China. Ah Long has an 84-year-old grandmother, who visits him quite frequently and cooks for him. The granny has also planted some vegetables near the house for Ah Long.

Ah Long does know what AIDS is. All he knew was that his friends never want to be near him, doctors did not want to treat his wounds and his only family member – his granny – refused to live with him. He was also rejected by the nearby primary school. The only companion the boy has is a dog called Lao Hei.

k-hameha:

*Ah Long does not know…

So here I am, isolating myself because of a number when Ah Long is too young to understand why he’s stigmatised by the community. It’s heart breaking to know that he only has Lao Hei where people here complain how lonely they are or how the senseless abbreviation “FML” constantly applies to them. Emotionally unstable, I’ve made you guys worry about me.

Thank you.

Thank you for the phone calls and hugs, they’ve made me a little stronger. I’m so grateful.  It was hard for me to tell myself that I could get through this, so when I hear these words from my family and friends, it’s comforting to know that they are there for me when I feel at my most broken.

I will take it one day at a time now to get through this.

Even though Ah Long doesn’t have basic life’s necessities, his story has the power to truly inspire others to rethink what they have around them.

Ah Long is stronger than most people around the world, and at the age of only six with almost nothing but just his best friend, is amazing.  

Social Hiatus.

From Dec 12th I will; 

• Deactivate Facebook 
• Not be on MSN 
• Not be on Tumblr
• Not be on Blogspot

until further notice. 

Please respect my privacy. My results will be a secret, only my parents and grandparents should know and they've promised not to tell others. I will not ask you for your score and I expect you to do the same for me. 

Thank you! 

2010 Reflection

 

This year has perhaps been the most grueling and challenging so far and it isn't quite over yet. With only a few weeks to go before we welcome in 2011, I must say Year 12 has probably decreased my life span by about ten years. Although, I shouldn't complain too much about this loss; I don’t own a house, have a job, and pay for a child’s education or the household bills. By experiencing the harshness in VCE it has hopefully allowed students to sense a hint of reality in preparation in the next step of our lives. 2010 was hard on us for a reason; so that it could be a learning year to strive harder to our potential and smarter for future goals.

Before we sweep 2010 under our feet, let’s take a trip down the year. 

February
Class of KC 2010

We greeted the school year as frantic and nervous students. Frantic because most had managed to complete the holiday homework a few weeks before and nervous for the work load ahead. Entitled to certain privileges such as superiority and the convenience of a kitchen, they became the little luxury inserted into our studying lives. Looking back now at our year level photo of Killester College Class of 2010, evokes great nostalgia. We weren't just a class; we've been together for six years now, less for some but no doubt we have also become a family. This is what I would like to take from this stand, the sense of belonging to a community of such beautiful girls.

February
With Anne, coming home from the Swimming Carnival. 

Our last swimming carnival took place early in Term 1. It was a cloudy day and Mr. Greig warned us about the importance of sunscreen because UV rays are still able to travel through clouds. Due to our ignorance, we laid outside on the grass with little application of sunscreen. The cost of our laziness made us sleepless with burnt skin the following night. 

It was already the third month into the year and it felt as if the formal was the next day. It was an irritating distraction into our norm. I never knew how everyone was so hyped up for this special occasion four months before it actually occurred. The formal frenzy was partially positive; the talk about food, attire, makeup, transport and partners were a little something to look forward mid way through the year. From this, I will tell the future students to keep formal talk to a minimum and focus on your studies.

March
With Michelle, at retreat.

March
Exhibits at Melbourne Museum.

In the first week of our Term 1 break for  Psychology, we went to the Melbourne museum. I've also written a reflection in April. Our mid - term exams were coming around the corner and the stress was getting to my head. For a long time and still to this day, a huge black cloud has been lingering above my body and pressing down on my shoulders. My parents were a large weight sustained in the black cloud and I've become easily agitated at the slightest things. Spent my day at tutor on Anzac Day. I've written about my week in detail, April in detail and the first four months in detail. 

April
Lan's Birthday.

May
With Stephinee, at Athletics Day.

May was a break from my social life. I didn't go online and I deactivated my Facebook account. I logged off for the final time for the next five months and it was the best feeling of relief. No longer was I constantly subjected to the input of information from the site. My social life was kept strictly to a minimum so I could focus mainly on study and sleep. Lazed around Athletics day once again and eagerly anticipated the hurdle events. It was  rainy for Athletics too which I particularly enjoyed. A tweak of Winter was here to stay in Autumn. 


Term 2 was about to end and I've let out a few tears which I never thought I would do. I thought I was stronger than this, they were just words. I haven't cried in ages but somehow being called that really hurt me. I was probably caught up with pressure and sadness that lead to my outbreak of tears. Crying was good but getting reminded of who was really there for you was even better. I farewelled Term 2 with a hug from each of the people I loved and smiled again. 

June
Preparing for the formal.

July
KC Formal
(I hardly took any photos)

Half way through the year now and the formal hype was getting to either its highest or lowest peak. I was one of those who couldn't be bothered attending anymore days before the formal. Although feeling a bit blue days before, I was glad to be part of Killester College Class of 2010 whom danced our hearts out and the night away. It was the first time for many to feel like a princess so I thank you girls for accompanying me on this amazing night. During the June/July break, I've also received a reality check from Sophie. 

August
With Kim, Sophie & Sophia on Brigidine Day

August
With Kim, in my IPOD

Our last Brigidine Day was held in August with our theme "Love Generation". Since this was my final year, I decided to make a human IPOD displaying music from the 1960's. I was so keen to win a place at the fashion costume parade but I didn't. Yet I didn't let my anguish ruin the day! Running around in my costume, receiving attention and praise for my creation and eating pizza with friends was enough to have a memorable day. Many Kodak moments were taken and I am fortunate for these awesome photos. Finals were drawing nearer and nearer so students were working extremely hard and even weakening their health. September was a time of sickness. 

September
My work desk.

The next three months were to be dedicated to study. Rooms of students were no longer kept clean, papers were everywhere and we preferred our doors closed and our family quiet. Others went out to libraries or to the study room during lunchtime and recess. We got our graduation jackets too! Look how sweet they are! 

October
With Judy, Meilin & Sophie at Graduation Liturgy.

October was the final month to get our game into shape and be constantly vigilant. No more parties, internet or other forms of relaxation were to dominate our study schedule. Free printing was the newfound glee for Year 12 students who exceeded and abused this feature for exam papers. At least more than one ream of paper were used per day and the computer staff became annoyed but alert. Our Graduation liturgy was held acknowledging the wondrous support given to us over our schooling career. 

October
With Kim, on the final day of school.

October
With Tuyen, Jepe & Lisa.

Muck up day was a figure of our imagination, and I am so grateful to have lived that with KC Class of 2010! What was the theme again? "What I wanted to be when I grew up". I wanted to be a doctor when I was young, but that was what most Asian children wanted to be. My other dream was Snow White. I couldn't find a Snow White costume in time so I went in my Primary School uniform accompanied by my Primary School boyfriend, Stephanie. Lucky, I rocked up to Maccas where there was already two Snow Whites. 

October
Muck Up Day
KC Class of 2010

October
With Amanda & Priya, on Muck Up day.

October
Banner at the lockers. 

October
With Jennie, Anne & Stephinee, in the 2010.

October
With Kimberly, Meilin, Lisa, Anne, Jepe & Alyssa.

I was very disheartened in November as exams began. 

Past post 1: I couldn't help re-read the timetable for the last day of school and relieve the feelings when I read my timetable for the first day of highschool. Six years have passed so soon, I wonder what the next six will bring for me? I do hope I have a career in Neurology though, and a handsome partner to come along with too. From the moment you pinned your XII badge on your uniform to signing the forms for allowing your ATAR to be published, you know that your time at highschool is nearly over. In the adult future though, highschool will seem to be a small proportion of your entire life span so far. Even your ATAR score won't be the talk of everyone by then. It'll be your income instead.

Why can't we measure our success whether intelligence or wealth on happiness instead? This year has broken many students down in tears, distress and utter disappointment. You feel compressed, the weight on your shoulders is incredible. Broken down psychologically and physically by the sleepless nights, this was VCE for me and I'm tired. Everyone is. Down to our final weeks now and I'm left with regrets, so how could I face Jp in the eye and say that everything is okay right now? I've been made to feel that four digits will determine the prospect of your whole future. I've let it consume me, restrict my happiness and hope within myself.

I can't dwell on the past for too long, we all have to learn from our mistakes and focus on achieving the best possible marks on our exams. We have to keep trying, it is not complete failure if we haven't tried. Giving up is the worst thing you can do. Decemeber will be daunting.

Past post 2: On the eve of my VCE program, my parents told me that I had only had to suffer a bit for two years before I can lavishly live in my successes.

My memory of Year 11 had become a blur to me. My head was resting quite comfortably above the surface of the water. At times, the water might hit your face impairing your vision, but at least you were okay in Year 11. I realised to go forth in VCE, you had to choose two from three options of interest; your VCE, your social life and finally, your sleep. A deprived social life was the least harmful to me, so I decided to limit it. Left with only sleep and studies, my priorities gradually declined my mentality through the sacrifice of sleep. I could sleep anytime and probably anywhere. I would sleep at 2am and wake up at 4am to do homework and then go to school.

Time in this case, was your worst enemy. It's merciless, and fighting with it was hopeless. I became depressed moreso than stressed. I could only stress about the present, and become depressed about the future. Being left alone was horrible especially in bed when everyone else was sleeping. It was torture, every night, that bloody ATAR score. It does not determine your intelligence because people enter exams differently. Your ATAR score will mainly decide a place for you at your chosen university. However, does that mean that the university you are placed into will also decide your intelligence?

Of course not, it decides your future. Universities are flexible, they offer courses instead of scores. I do not wish for a 90+ ATAR score anymore (a miracle would be nice though). Where ever I go next year, I want to be happy. Living in regrets will only screw you over and kill you soon enough. After securing a place at an institution, the four digits that almost killed you will no longer be important. I wouldn't say that 2010 has been the best or worst year, I believe that this year of VCE has been a learning one.

I strived for perfection at a young age. I would become absorbed in English and Maths workbooks that were lying around the house once I've grasped onto the basic concepts. I would cringe at the mistakes I've made in the exercise books that my mother and father would make up with their own math problems for me to solve. I was shown trophies from my cousins when all I recieved were certificates. I couldn't quit tutor for a year so I "could beat my cousins". At almost ten years old in chinese school, and I'd already begin crying over marks. In year 8, I started to record my results. In years 9 to 10 I had to prove to my parents that I didn't need a tutor to get me high grades.
I endured the pain of years 11 and 12.


Sadly, I am one of those people who are to be judged by numbers, therefore, I will always suffer.


*This post is poorly expressed, I was writing unconsciously.

November
With Jepe & Connie at Valedictory Dinner.

November
With Sophie, dancing the night away.

November
With Kim & Sophia, leaving Valedictory.

It was good to see the teachers again and students at the Valedictory night. Our second chance to dance our hearts out together for the final time was taken after our exams. Nobody can dance as hard and awesome as the Class of KC 2010. 

-

We've worked hard and now it was time to party hard. I can't thank you enough to the girls in these photos who have been with me throughout the year. We may not be able to see each other as frequently and as easily anymore. A simple hello or good morning was taken for granted around the school. I miss you all. I've seen you grow into the young women you are of today and I hope you can show them to the people you meet after this year. I believe that my friends know more about me than I do. I am still amazed when you tell me the  little unconscious things that I do. Class of 2010 has been my second family so wherever you go, far or near; I hope you remain safe, challenge yourself and succeed in your dreams which determine your true happiness.


Thank you for 2010.

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
Leon J. Suenes

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare

"~We're really sorry to annouce that we wont be doing WGM Ep33. As alot has happened, we will use this week to regroup and come back stronger!!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo! yongseo!