So you can be the one I love. 

I can be the one you long for. 

You can be the one I want...want. 

And you can be the one I love. 

This could be our world wide open. 

You can be the one I want...want. 

You could be the one - Late Night Alumni 

Just.

"I can't borrow the book for you. My friends think I like you or something, but I don't. I don't want us to be awkward. I'm not sure. We're just friends...phew, thought you'd be angry at me." 

"This isn't easy for me, but all those things I did - yes, they do seem a bit close but I didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression. I don't want to keep hurting you. It's just that I've been getting a lot of shit from others lately. We're just friends...Good. Stay happy, just don't text me and don't spend time with me one on one. I'm not the one." 

No. Fuck You for breaking my heart. 

For being selfish. 

For leading me on. 

For being bored. 

For leaving me without a word. 

For ignoring my messages. 

For feeding your ego. 

For crippling your pride. 

For the hurt you've caused. 

For the words you've feed me. 

For destroying the songs you've played to me. 

For making me believe in love. 

For giving chances. 

For the hope and patience I've endured. 

For the sleepless nights. 

For building the walls around my heart. 

For getting attached. 

For trusting you. 

To any guy who's going to fuck me over again, GO. JUST GO. LEAVE. PLEASE. 

...

It's not fair. I'm still hurt and I'm still tired. Worst of all - you don't even give two cents about me anymore either. Don't try and fix things when they're not broken in the first place. Stay friends? Really? You've got to be kidding me: "Friends" who won't help you or accept one innocent text. Total bullshit. I don't know who you are or what you've become anymore.

I absolutely hate that terrifying feeling when you realize you're starting to get attached to someone. It just takes one assumption (from others), and everything "normal" gets ruined. Then here comes the one thing I prayed you wouldn't do. You'll give me the "Just friends" talk while comforting me with the fact that everything will be okay. Of course in the end, we'll never speak of it or to each other again. I get it. I'm not worth it. YOU'RE the one who deserves better. Thought you'd be different, something special and amazing. Thought you wouldn't be like the other guys. I was lonely, you were bored and needed attention and security. I was stupid enough to give it to you. Didn't know that was part of the game. Too stupid. I'm a joke too right? You'd rather save yourself, YOUR IMAGE than introduce me as someone important - the one who actually gave a flying fuck when others didn't. I actually thought you'd...never mind. They say that I'm just one heartbreak away from true love. Well it's hard to trust one now in the first place and I'm sick of the bullshit drama they create in front of me. This time, I won't fall so hard and so easy. Am I scared? No, I'm just not hoping anymore. 

Fall down twice, stand up three times. 

Let me get this straight.

If you start talking to me everyday and night, I'm obviously gonna get attached to you. Even if I never planned to in the first place, I will. So before you start getting close to me, make sure that you won't just suddenly leave me . Cause you know, that happens to me a lot. 

Source

It's not fucking fair, goodbyes freaking hurt. I'm not letting go. I'm not going to lose you. 

It's not goodbye. 

Titanic (1997)

You're a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I've ever known....

I'm not an idiot, I know how the world works. I've got ten bucks in my pocket, I have no - nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand. But I'm too involved now. 

You jump, I jump remember? 

I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right...

That's all that I want. 

Went to see this bad boy of a movie yesterday in 3D with Sophia and Uy. The day not only marked Sophia's 19th birthday, it was also the 100th anniversary of the launching of the Titanic voyage. We smuggled in KFC into the cinema and were already emotionally moved by the music in the opening credits. I hugged Uy's arm for the remaining two hours of this three hour movie. She didn't move an inch and never told me that her arm had turned into jelly, yet she still allowed me to hold it so tightly. Aw poor girl! I'm so sorry! 

Skin Care

In Grade 4; as if my short height wasn't humiliating enough, my face started to break out in pimples. 

Luckily, I was never the child who had severe acne all around my face. Instead I would usually be the host to one HUGE red and disgusting spot on my face. I hated it - it'd peel, bleed, scar and hurt. Although it was only one spot, it was one too many. I started washing my face more vigorously, praying that water alone would make it disappear. I'd also avoid touching it with my fingers and made sure I'd always wipe away my mouth after eating to prevent oil or food collecting around the area. 

Fortunately through my transition to high school, my face started to clear up. I hadn't used any products besides water and soap up until Year 8. My first choice was Clearasil Blackheads scrub, toner and moisturizer. Along with daily hygiene skills, over time the blackheads lessened yet my skin became drier and even began to break out again. Go back to mornings when you'd wake up in horror to find new dot to dot constellations on your face. 

The most prone areas to pimples on my face is the infamous T zone (across the forehead, down to from the top of the nose to the bottom of the chin). Having a fringe (especially straight fringes) would cause even faster build up of oil on my forehead, so I 'll usually have it clipped up and out of my eyes. Sleep deprivation, stress and menstruation were also the main factors leading to pimples. 

I stopped using the Clearasil brand and religiously became involved in Shiseido for nearly four years now, as well as a few other skin care products found in the cupboard. Oh Shiseido, you are a life saver. *Inserts romantic music and long walks on the beach* 

Current products used: 

Here is my weekly routine after a shower: 

I strongly believe in three stages of skin care - Cleanse, Tone and Moisturize. 

Cleanse: 

Apply to wet face and gently scrub Garnier Clean Detox Detoxifying Exfoliation Wash (1) 

or 

Shiseido The Skincare Extra Gentle Cleansing Foam (2) 

Tone: 

Using one cotton wool, squirt a small amount of Shiseido Pureness Balancing Softener (4) 

or 

Neutrogena Alcohol - Free Toner (6) 

(NB: As you can see in (4) there is nearly no more left, so I've been using (6) for the past couple of months.) 

Moisturize: 

Apply a small rice grain sized on cheeks, forehead, nose and chin Shiseido Pureness Matifying Moisturizer (5) 

or 

Shiseido The Skincare Hydro - nourishing softener (3) (Usually used when I'm heading out of the house)

Skin care for eyes: 

Dab Dove Energy Glow Eye Brightening Cream (7) beneath the eyes. 

Other natural skin care treatments: 

• Cutting slices of fresh cold cucumbers and applying them around the face for 30 minutes. 
• Drink plenty of water. 
• Wearing sunscreen and avoid harsh UV rays. 
• Have a normal sleeping pattern! 

MY FACE (plus damp hair!)

My mother says that at this age, we're roses that have just bloomed. Soon we won't be as youthful and radiant as before. Pinch the back of your hand and your skin bounces back to shape - one day it won't. Our skin will age and change, so we'd best treasure this moment and treat it right before the inevitable ends ey? 

Skype

One open textbook, four unproductive hours, three shirtless, one lamp, one ineffective webcam, one little boy, a mother, three kids tucked in bed, three suit ups, one phone call to the girlfriend, Simpsons quotes, lingerie, no lingerie, Melanie Iglesias, two Yesungs, six hairy armpits, a very nice bedroom, shirts to singlets, a white tiger and one very disturbed girl. 

Heck I miss them already.

Goodbye March