A whim away

Friday, October 8, 2010

R U OK?

jp asked me if I was okay today.

I couldn't look her in the eye. I am not okay.

:(

i'm angry at myself, i regret not loving jp more

i am a horrible wife who doesn't appreciate jp's support towards me. i never let him do anything he wants because i am a totalitarian figure in her life.

i have an unhealthy force to destroy all humanity.

2+2 = 5

jp, how many fingers am i holding up?

"2"

WRONG

i am not cooking you anything, not that i cooked for you in the first place
i am not your housewife.

we have maids.

i'll tell them not to cook for you and if you want to eat, you will go out and eat instead. take my purse. theres $58, i want a ...

JP INTERRUPTS.

I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEWIFE.

WE HAVE MAIDS.

ahem, i was saying, i want a dinner box.
get me a salad and i'll think you think i'm fat.

NO. "CAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE." :D

awww...."the dj's got us falling in love again ayoooo"

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Saturday, October 2, 2010

the little lilo within us



all the time


http://donnyspeaks.tumblr.com/post/1164944513/girls-arent-going-to-talk-to-you-first

It’s a girl thing.

We don’t like starting the conversation because we like to feel like you want to talk to us.
We like to feel like the wait was worth something.
We like feeling like you’ve waited for us like we’ve waited for you.
But the number one reason we hate talking first is because we hate to seem needy or clingy.
That’s why we’re scared.
Cause to us, being needy and obsessive just pushes guys away.
And no girl wants that feeling.

It’s a “girl” thing?

donnyspeaks:
Just because you have a vagina doesn’t change shit, you should step out of yourself and grow some nerve to say hello once in a fucking while. It’s called independence and being proactive.

You girls (who still think this way) need to stop looking inside the mirror and realize that everyone theoretically thinks the same way. So every stupid feeling you feel, is the exact same thing us guys think. Gender doesn’t influence one way or another.

Feminists. Women’s rights? If you want equality among genders, you need to stop thinking this way.

(Source: rusticmayhem)

Friday, October 1, 2010

thank you for following ^^

*mason moon kisses*















for a moment, i knew how it felt when someone breaks up



crazy sophie! :) i stopped living for a few days!

where did you go? D:

I AM:

[ ] anorexic
[ ] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[ ] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] Under 100lbs
[ ] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast

PEOPLE -
[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[x] call me fat
[ ] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[ ] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[ ] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic

I WISH -
[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[ ] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[ ] I was under 110lbs
[ ] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I LOVE -
[ ] feeling hungry
[ ] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[ ] being weak
[ ] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[ ] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

APPEARANCE
[x] I am shorter than 5’4.
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[ ] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

FAMILY
[ ] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve had children.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.

EMBARRASSMENT:
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[ ] I’ve glued my hand to something
[x] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

RELATIONSHIPS:
[x] I’m single
[ ] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[ ] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

[ ] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.


SEXUALITY:
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

MORE ABOUT ME:
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[ ] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve cheated on a test.
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school.
[ ] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I’m upset.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[ ] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm.
[ ] I’ve woken up crying
[x] I’ve lost weight
[x] I’ve gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[ ] I’m at my thinnest
[x] I’m at my biggest
[ ] I’ve lost weight and kept it off
[x] I’ve lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[ ] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[ ] I feel happy when I’m hungry
[ ] I get depressed after I eat
[ ] I’ve skipped a meal
[ ] I’ve thrown food away
[ ] I’ve spit food out
[x] I’ve fasted
[ ] I’ve taken diet pills
[ ] I’ve used laxatives
[ ] I’ve purged
[ ] I exercise
[ ] I exercise so I can eat
[ ] I work out secretly
[ ] I work out daily
[ ] I exercise to counteract eating
[ ] I’ve fainted from exhaustion
[ ] I keep my eating habits a secret
[ ] I have a ED blog

[ ] I look at thinspo
[ ] I collect thinspo
[ ] I condone pro-ana/mia sites
[ ] I count calories
[ ] I’ve had negative intake days
[ ] I avoid food
[ ] I hate food
[x] I love food

[x] I want to be this way
[ ] I don’t want to be this way
[x] I wish I could have more control
[ ] Being thin is my top priority
[ ] I don’t want to get better
[ ] I am in treatment

[ ] I’m doing this for me
[ ] I’m doing this for someone
[ ] I’m doing this to prove myself

I’ve done:
[ ] Weed
[ ] Cigarettes
[ ] Alcohol
[ ] Diet pills
[x] Pain killers
[ ] Anti-depressants
[ ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

my september '10 bedroom

desk: drawing from andy, shelves, textbooks under tv, computer (the one that makes wooshing noises at night), water, George Orwell, bags, calculator in pink bag, dictionary, clock photos...


wall: hello kitty clock & english quotes

closet: purse, ft island poster, chanel, tiffany & co photos & psych notes


---> currently working on chem & methods wall

sigh* my september '10 prison