"she said to me"

i can feel your heartbeat, i can feel your heartbeat.
"Heartbeat" - Enrique Iglesias ft Nicole Scherzinger
(sexy beats are addictive)

I couldn't help re-read the timetable for the last day of school and relieve the feelings when I read my timetable for the first day of highschool. Six years have passed so soon, I wonder what the next six will bring for me? I do hope I have a career in Neurology though, and a handsome partner to come along with too. From the moment you pinned your XII badge on your uniform to signing the forms for allowing your ATAR to be published, you know that your time at highschool is nearly over. In the adult future though, highschool will seem to be a small proportion of your entire life span so far. Even your ATAR score won't be the talk of everyone by then. It'll be your income instead.

Why can't we measure our success whether intelligence or wealth on happiness instead? This year has broken many students down in tears, distress and utter dissapointment. You feel compressed, the weight on your shoulders is incredible. Broken down psychologically and physically by the sleepless nights, this was VCE for me and I'm tired. Everyone is. Down to our final weeks now and I'm left with regrets, so how could I face Jp in the eye and say that everything is okay right now? I've been made to feel that four digits will determine the prospect of your whole future. I've let it consume me, restrict my happiness and hope within myself.

I can't dwell on the past for too long, we all have to learn from our mistakes and focus on achieving the best possible marks on our exams. We have to keep trying, it is not complete failure if we haven't tried. Giving up is the worst thing you can do. Decemeber will be daunting.

psychology with jp

"So you're just going to ignore him for a whole month?"

"Yeah.

I have this habit of running away from him and leaving him (fb, formal, msn)

...but he comes back"


(maybe)




this.

 

R U OK?

jp asked me if I was okay today.

I couldn't look her in the eye. I am not okay.

:(

i'm angry at myself, i regret not loving jp more

i am a horrible wife who doesn't appreciate jp's support towards me. i never let him do anything he wants because i am a totalitarian figure in her life.

i have an unhealthy force to destroy all humanity.

2+2 = 5

jp, how many fingers am i holding up?

"2"

WRONG

i am not cooking you anything, not that i cooked for you in the first place
i am not your housewife.

we have maids.

i'll tell them not to cook for you and if you want to eat, you will go out and eat instead. take my purse. theres $58, i want a ...

JP INTERRUPTS.

I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEWIFE.

WE HAVE MAIDS.

ahem, i was saying, i want a dinner box.

get me a salad and i'll think you think i'm fat.

NO. "CAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE." :D

awww...."the dj's got us falling in love again ayoooo"

hope(less)

the little lilo within us

all the time

http://donnyspeaks.tumblr.com/post/1164944513/girls-arent-going-to-talk-to-you-first

It’s a girl thing.

We don’t like starting the conversation because we like to feel like you want to talk to us.
We like to feel like the wait was worth something.
We like feeling like you’ve waited for us like we’ve waited for you.
But the number one reason we hate talking first is because we hate to seem needy or clingy.
That’s why we’re scared.
Cause to us, being needy and obsessive just pushes guys away.
And no girl wants that feeling.

It’s a “girl” thing?

donnyspeaks:

Just because you have a vagina doesn’t change shit, you should step out of yourself and grow some nerve to say hello once in a fucking while. It’s called independence and being proactive.

You girls (who still think this way) need to stop looking inside the mirror and realize that everyone theoretically thinks the same way. So every stupid feeling you feel, is the exact same thing us guys think. Gender doesn’t influence one way or another.

Feminists. Women’s rights? If you want equality among genders, you need to stop thinking this way.

(Source: rusticmayhem)

thank you for following ^^

*mason moon kisses*

for a moment, i knew how it felt when someone breaks up

crazy sophie! :) i stopped living for a few days!

where did you go? D:

I AM:

[ ] anorexic
[ ] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[ ] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] Under 100lbs
[ ] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast

PEOPLE -
[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[x] call me fat
[ ] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[ ] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[ ] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic

I WISH -
[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[ ] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[ ] I was under 110lbs
[ ] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I LOVE -
[ ] feeling hungry
[ ] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[ ] being weak
[ ] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[ ] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

APPEARANCE
[x] I am shorter than 5’4.
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[ ] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

FAMILY
[ ] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve had children.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.

EMBARRASSMENT:
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[ ] I’ve glued my hand to something
[x] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

RELATIONSHIPS:
[x] I’m single
[ ] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[ ] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

[ ] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.


SEXUALITY:
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

MORE ABOUT ME:
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[ ] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve cheated on a test.
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school.
[ ] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I’m upset.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[ ] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm.
[ ] I’ve woken up crying
[x] I’ve lost weight
[x] I’ve gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[ ] I’m at my thinnest
[x] I’m at my biggest
[ ] I’ve lost weight and kept it off
[x] I’ve lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[ ] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[ ] I feel happy when I’m hungry
[ ] I get depressed after I eat
[ ] I’ve skipped a meal
[ ] I’ve thrown food away
[ ] I’ve spit food out
[x] I’ve fasted
[ ] I’ve taken diet pills
[ ] I’ve used laxatives
[ ] I’ve purged
[ ] I exercise
[ ] I exercise so I can eat
[ ] I work out secretly
[ ] I work out daily
[ ] I exercise to counteract eating
[ ] I’ve fainted from exhaustion
[ ] I keep my eating habits a secret
[ ] I have a ED blog

[ ] I look at thinspo
[ ] I collect thinspo
[ ] I condone pro-ana/mia sites
[ ] I count calories
[ ] I’ve had negative intake days
[ ] I avoid food
[ ] I hate food
[x] I love food

[x] I want to be this way
[ ] I don’t want to be this way
[x] I wish I could have more control
[ ] Being thin is my top priority
[ ] I don’t want to get better
[ ] I am in treatment

[ ] I’m doing this for me
[ ] I’m doing this for someone
[ ] I’m doing this to prove myself

I’ve done:
[ ] Weed
[ ] Cigarettes
[ ] Alcohol
[ ] Diet pills
[x] Pain killers
[ ] Anti-depressants
[ ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine