k-hameha

Monday, November 8, 2010

lesson learnt from 2010

"Dream. Dream as big and as high as you want but without a plan, you'll only have stories to tell." k-hameha

Dear VCE,

I'm a damsel in distress, and I'm the only one who can save me.

On the eve of my VCE program, my parents told me that I had only had to suffer a bit for two years before I can lavishly live in my successes.

My memory of Year 11 had become a blur to me. My head was resting quite comfortably above the surface of the water. At times, the water might hit your face impairing your vision, but at least you were okay in Year 11. I realised to go forth in VCE, you had to choose two from three options of interest; your VCE, your social life and finally, your sleep. A deprived social life was the least harmful to me, so I decided to limit it. Left with only sleep and studies, my priorities gradually declined my mentality through the sacrifice of sleep. I could sleep anytime and probably anywhere. I would sleep at 2am and wake up at 4am to do homework and then go to school.

Time in this case, was your worst enemy. It's merciless, and fighting with it was hopeless. I became depressed moreso than stressed. I could only stress about the present, and become depressed about the future. Being left alone was horrible especially in bed when everyone else was sleeping. It was torture, every night, that bloody ATAR score. It does not determine your intelligence because people enter exams differently. Your ATAR score will mainly decide a place for you at your chosen university. However, does that mean that the university you are placed into will also decide your intelligence?

Of course not, it decides your future. Universities are flexible, they offer courses instead of scores. I do not wish for a 90+ ATAR score anymore (a miracle would be nice though). Where ever I go next year, I want to be happy. Living in regrets will only screw you over and kill you soon enough. After securing a place at an institution, the four digits that almost killed you will no longer be important. I wouldn't say that 2010 has been the best or worst year, I believe that this year of VCE has been a learning one.

I strived for perfection at a young age. I would become absorbed in English and Maths workbooks that were lying around the house once I've grasped onto the basic concepts. I would cringe at the mistakes I've made in the exercise books that my mother and father would make up with their own math problems for me to solve. I was shown trophies from my cousins when all I recieved were certificates. I couldn't quit tutor for a year so I "could beat my cousins". At almost ten years old in chinese school, and I'd already begin crying over marks. In year 8, I started to record my results. In years 9 to 10 I had to prove to my parents that I didn't need a tutor to get me high grades.

I endured the pain of years 11 and 12.

Sadly, I am one of those people who are to be judged by numbers, therefore, I will always suffer.

*This post is poorly expressed, I was writing unconsciously.

SNSD - 내 잘못이죠 (Mistake)

"It’s my mistake for not making you love me more

It’s my mistake for loving you more than you love me

It’s my mistake for not making you love me as much as I wanted you to."

where dreams go to die

so...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

domo kun cries

ONE WORD:

EXAMS.

JUST LIKE SOPHIE, I WON'T BE POSTING UNTIL NEXT MONTH ON BLOGSPOT OR TUMBLR.

adieu!

Times Two (Tik Tok Rework) - Matt Palmer

BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL "TIK TOK" BY KE$HA.

Verse 1:
I saw you, wanted you from the start
I loved you, you with him broke my heart
You were mine, once upon a time
Got another guy and we tore apart. Yeah..

Pre-Chorus:
Now the thoughts are back and I cant get past
The fact that you walked out of my door
Then you call my phone, said you got it wrong
You say you want me back, youre begging for more

Chorus:
Now its love times two in this heart of mine
I thought we were through
Then you pressed rewind
Baby cant you feel it?
No, I cant conceal it
Now its love times two baby, times two
Now its love times two in this heart of mine
I thought we were through
Then you pressed rewind
Baby cant you feel it? (Baby cant you feel it?)
No, I cant conceal it (No, I cant conceal it)
Now its love times two baby, times two
Now its love.

Verse 2:
My friends say how could you let her back in
They dont know what being in love meant
This romance, deserves a chance
So I will fight for you till the bitter end

Pre-Chorus:
Cause 3 months have past, I couldnt get past
The fact that you walked out of my door
Then you call my phone, said you got it wrong
You said you want me back, youre begging for more

Chorus:
Now its love times two in this heart of mine
I thought we were through
Then you pressed rewind
Baby cant you feel it?
No, I cant conceal it
Now its love times two baby, times two
Now its love times two in this heart of mine
I thought we were through
Then you pressed rewind
Baby cant you feel it? (Baby cant you feel it?)
No, I cant conceal it (No, I cant conceal it)
Now its love times two baby, times two
Now its love

Bridge:
But its more than your love that youre giving to me
In my arms, when youre here in my arms ..
Girl youre giving me hope when you make believe
In the light, that appears, when the dark is gone
Your hand in mine, Oh, you and I ..
Against the world, well stand and fight.
Your hand in mine, Oh, you and I ..
Against the world, well stand and fight
Nothing can stop the love we got!

Chorus: (x2)
Now its love times two in this heart of mine
I thought we were through
Then you pressed rewind
Baby cant you feel it? (Baby cant you feel it?)
No, I cant conceal it (No, I cant conceal it)
Now its love times two baby, times two
Now its love times two in this heart of mine
I thought we were through
Then you pressed rewind
Baby cant you feel it? (Baby cant you feel it?)
No, I cant conceal it (No, I cant conceal it)
Now its love times two baby (nothing can stop the love we got)
Now its love!