From that point on, we were at Stage 2: The Chase. Some say it’s the best part. All I wanted was to know more about her. All I wanted to do was to hang out with her. The only person I wanted to talk to was her. She was the number one priority. And every time I saw her, butterflies. She was everything that I thought could be perfect in a girl.And as soon as it felt right…
Bottom line is someone stops trying and feelings aren't as strong as before.
...
To hell with all this. Third time unlucky. This feeling is all too familiar to me, and yet for the first time I've only realised now that I don't deserve this. No one does. No one deserves to get ignored or forgotten in one go without any reasonable explanation. Or maybe I have? Please tell me what I've been doing that I just had to be abandoned again in the span of two years. Perhaps the mistake is that I've allowed myself to trust you. I got sucked in with all the cute texts and calls, and even the thought of you just being there was comforting. The heart wants what it wants. I'm throwing in the towel, I can't put this emotional turmoil on me anymore. I'm not going to play the waiting game again or any kind of stupid mind games.
You either want me to be a part of your life or not. Simple as that. Two weeks was all it took to show me what I really meant to you. From day one I told myself to be careful. My friends told me to be careful, but what does that actually mean? What do I actually do? I was trying so hard not to get hurt again that I had to question every happiness I had with you because I wasn't sure of our future. I'm sorry for being scared of you sometimes. I'm sorry for being like this, but I knew maybe long enough one day I'd be truly happy with you.
As so I thought.
I'm sick of being pushed away by anyone. So guess what? I'm tired of seeing your name too. I'm hiding your name on Skype, unsubscribing to you on Facebook and deleting your number off my phone to stop myself from initiating any small talk. I told myself, if you really wanted to talk to me - you'd find a way...like you use to. Actually, if you really wanted to talk to me: don't just text me, don't just call me, don't leave messages on my wall - just come out and see me.
I don't need anyone in my life who doesn't need me.
I had a singe of hope that you'd be different, the one who'd prove why the people in the past never worked. I'm not letting you make or break my day. Do you even want to talk to me anymore? It seems that I'm being such a bothersome part of your life lately that you couldn't even spare an apology or a sentence when I waited three hours for your reply to my text, "Can you come out? I'm free." You'll probably think "I never asked you to ask me to hang out. I'm not doing anything wrong." Well, any decent human being of a friend wouldn't reply with one word to an invitation. It was pretty damn clear to me that it'd be a no within the first hour so I just went home.
Go back to the life you had before we met, because the ability to remember is a curse itself. Forget those plans we had for the summer together, forget about my birthday too. I don't expect anything from you anymore.
Goodbye.
14 comments:
Stay strong Karen. Your Prince Charming is coming.
And you know, this is how a lot of friendships are broken (or strained). We grow up and we don't have the time for each other anymore. Or we feel like we're the only one putting effort into the relationship. We took high school for granted didn't we?
I will Sophia. Our Prince Charming got lost in the bushes.
Sometimes growing up might even mean finding new or "better" people to be around with, leaving the little ones behind. Yes we did. I think about it all the time.
Thank you for your words, and for stopping by too~ !
Sigh. Our Prince Charming must suck with directions. Why doesn't he have a GPS?!
I've actually met quite a lot of people who hated high school. HATED IT. They're bloody happy that high school is over for them. But I want to relive it.
I think Prince Charming walked into a tree :(
Hrm I know a few people who thought high school was hell for them too. Me too but I don't want to do the work again HAHA
Sigh. At least we have each other until he comes? LOL.
LOL, I'll rather do high school work compared to the stuff we have to do for uni. I think the main reason (the people I know anymore) they hated high school was because there was a lot of bitch fights. LOL.
...but we're always going to have each other. I told you man, we're just people who don't have fights :|
I know. It's so weird listening to them talk about bitch fights and they turn around and ask me how bad it was, especially because we're in an all girls school and I'm like "we didn't fight..." and they're like "WAAAAHHHH?!?! NO WAY!?!?!"
Fighting is going to be inevitable in an all girls school. The thing is that if you're going to do that it's gonna be behind their backs or on the internet. I believe everyone had their own happy world of friends back then and we were blessed to be placed in a loving community of beautiful girls...LOL.
Haha, that's true. But it's their assumption that all girls are bitchy and always looking for a fight that got to me. Guys fight too! Gosh. Aw, I'm beautiful? keke
DO PIMPMYHAIR CAMERA APP WITH ME.
DONT HAVE A CAMERA ON IPOD!
excuses, excuses. you know very well i do.
But I don't see you often~
= more photos to make up for lost time.
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