So you can be the one I love. 

I can be the one you long for. 

You can be the one I want...want. 

And you can be the one I love. 

This could be our world wide open. 

You can be the one I want...want. 

You could be the one - Late Night Alumni 

Just.

"I can't borrow the book for you. My friends think I like you or something, but I don't. I don't want us to be awkward. I'm not sure. We're just friends...phew, thought you'd be angry at me." 

"This isn't easy for me, but all those things I did - yes, they do seem a bit close but I didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression. I don't want to keep hurting you. It's just that I've been getting a lot of shit from others lately. We're just friends...Good. Stay happy, just don't text me and don't spend time with me one on one. I'm not the one." 

No. Fuck You for breaking my heart. 

For being selfish. 

For leading me on. 

For being bored. 

For leaving me without a word. 

For ignoring my messages. 

For feeding your ego. 

For crippling your pride. 

For the hurt you've caused. 

For the words you've feed me. 

For destroying the songs you've played to me. 

For making me believe in love. 

For giving chances. 

For the hope and patience I've endured. 

For the sleepless nights. 

For building the walls around my heart. 

For getting attached. 

For trusting you. 

To any guy who's going to fuck me over again, GO. JUST GO. LEAVE. PLEASE. 

...

It's not fair. I'm still hurt and I'm still tired. Worst of all - you don't even give two cents about me anymore either. Don't try and fix things when they're not broken in the first place. Stay friends? Really? You've got to be kidding me: "Friends" who won't help you or accept one innocent text. Total bullshit. I don't know who you are or what you've become anymore.

I absolutely hate that terrifying feeling when you realize you're starting to get attached to someone. It just takes one assumption (from others), and everything "normal" gets ruined. Then here comes the one thing I prayed you wouldn't do. You'll give me the "Just friends" talk while comforting me with the fact that everything will be okay. Of course in the end, we'll never speak of it or to each other again. I get it. I'm not worth it. YOU'RE the one who deserves better. Thought you'd be different, something special and amazing. Thought you wouldn't be like the other guys. I was lonely, you were bored and needed attention and security. I was stupid enough to give it to you. Didn't know that was part of the game. Too stupid. I'm a joke too right? You'd rather save yourself, YOUR IMAGE than introduce me as someone important - the one who actually gave a flying fuck when others didn't. I actually thought you'd...never mind. They say that I'm just one heartbreak away from true love. Well it's hard to trust one now in the first place and I'm sick of the bullshit drama they create in front of me. This time, I won't fall so hard and so easy. Am I scared? No, I'm just not hoping anymore. 

Fall down twice, stand up three times. 

Let me get this straight.

If you start talking to me everyday and night, I'm obviously gonna get attached to you. Even if I never planned to in the first place, I will. So before you start getting close to me, make sure that you won't just suddenly leave me . Cause you know, that happens to me a lot. 

Source

It's not fucking fair, goodbyes freaking hurt. I'm not letting go. I'm not going to lose you. 

It's not goodbye. 

Titanic (1997)

You're a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I've ever known....

I'm not an idiot, I know how the world works. I've got ten bucks in my pocket, I have no - nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand. But I'm too involved now. 

You jump, I jump remember? 

I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right...

That's all that I want. 

Went to see this bad boy of a movie yesterday in 3D with Sophia and Uy. The day not only marked Sophia's 19th birthday, it was also the 100th anniversary of the launching of the Titanic voyage. We smuggled in KFC into the cinema and were already emotionally moved by the music in the opening credits. I hugged Uy's arm for the remaining two hours of this three hour movie. She didn't move an inch and never told me that her arm had turned into jelly, yet she still allowed me to hold it so tightly. Aw poor girl! I'm so sorry! 

Skin Care

In Grade 4; as if my short height wasn't humiliating enough, my face started to break out in pimples. 

Luckily, I was never the child who had severe acne all around my face. Instead I would usually be the host to one HUGE red and disgusting spot on my face. I hated it - it'd peel, bleed, scar and hurt. Although it was only one spot, it was one too many. I started washing my face more vigorously, praying that water alone would make it disappear. I'd also avoid touching it with my fingers and made sure I'd always wipe away my mouth after eating to prevent oil or food collecting around the area. 

Fortunately through my transition to high school, my face started to clear up. I hadn't used any products besides water and soap up until Year 8. My first choice was Clearasil Blackheads scrub, toner and moisturizer. Along with daily hygiene skills, over time the blackheads lessened yet my skin became drier and even began to break out again. Go back to mornings when you'd wake up in horror to find new dot to dot constellations on your face. 

The most prone areas to pimples on my face is the infamous T zone (across the forehead, down to from the top of the nose to the bottom of the chin). Having a fringe (especially straight fringes) would cause even faster build up of oil on my forehead, so I 'll usually have it clipped up and out of my eyes. Sleep deprivation, stress and menstruation were also the main factors leading to pimples. 

I stopped using the Clearasil brand and religiously became involved in Shiseido for nearly four years now, as well as a few other skin care products found in the cupboard. Oh Shiseido, you are a life saver. *Inserts romantic music and long walks on the beach* 

Current products used: 

Here is my weekly routine after a shower: 

I strongly believe in three stages of skin care - Cleanse, Tone and Moisturize. 

Cleanse: 

Apply to wet face and gently scrub Garnier Clean Detox Detoxifying Exfoliation Wash (1) 

or 

Shiseido The Skincare Extra Gentle Cleansing Foam (2) 

Tone: 

Using one cotton wool, squirt a small amount of Shiseido Pureness Balancing Softener (4) 

or 

Neutrogena Alcohol - Free Toner (6) 

(NB: As you can see in (4) there is nearly no more left, so I've been using (6) for the past couple of months.) 

Moisturize: 

Apply a small rice grain sized on cheeks, forehead, nose and chin Shiseido Pureness Matifying Moisturizer (5) 

or 

Shiseido The Skincare Hydro - nourishing softener (3) (Usually used when I'm heading out of the house)

Skin care for eyes: 

Dab Dove Energy Glow Eye Brightening Cream (7) beneath the eyes. 

Other natural skin care treatments: 

• Cutting slices of fresh cold cucumbers and applying them around the face for 30 minutes. 
• Drink plenty of water. 
• Wearing sunscreen and avoid harsh UV rays. 
• Have a normal sleeping pattern! 

MY FACE (plus damp hair!)

My mother says that at this age, we're roses that have just bloomed. Soon we won't be as youthful and radiant as before. Pinch the back of your hand and your skin bounces back to shape - one day it won't. Our skin will age and change, so we'd best treasure this moment and treat it right before the inevitable ends ey? 

Skype

One open textbook, four unproductive hours, three shirtless, one lamp, one ineffective webcam, one little boy, a mother, three kids tucked in bed, three suit ups, one phone call to the girlfriend, Simpsons quotes, lingerie, no lingerie, Melanie Iglesias, two Yesungs, six hairy armpits, a very nice bedroom, shirts to singlets, a white tiger and one very disturbed girl. 

Heck I miss them already.

Goodbye March

N&A

 So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. 

We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. 

I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.

The Playlist

There's always a story behind every song. 

Here's mine. 

Crash and Burn

Jesse McCartney 

While standing in the train home from uni, I was listening to this song as I played Zombie Farm on my Itouch. It was peak hour so when the train halted to a stop, I was still so intrigued at my game that I lost my balance and fell backwards into my classmate Sahan. Even though he caught my fall, I felt so embarrassed! 

A Drop in the Ocean 

Ron Pope 

This was the first song a guy had ever sent me. Was there a hidden message? Hey I was only sixteen, I'm silly like that. 

Fiction 

Beast

This is one of my favourite recalls. Today's morning twilight was cold and quiet, and I was on my way to an exam. Sitting alone on the train, enjoying the winter sights of the Melbourne city with it's sleepy citizens and not worrying about being late - this was my piece of heaven. 

Get Out 

JYJ

Sophia played this song from her phone in hope to emotionally warm us up as we both stood under an umbrella in the pouring night rain. We had just celebrated Sophie's birthday from the city and were waiting for her and Jesse to drive us home from the station. 

In Heaven 

JYJ 

One of my favourite songs to walk home to. I also take extra care when crossing the roads after watching the music video! Other walking songs include: Shampoo - Afterschool, Trouble Maker - JS & Hyuna

Incomplete

AI Ft Boys II Men

This is a special one. Out of all the songs he had sent me, this is my absolute favourite. I've played it over 1000 times times; on the train, before I slept, as I walked home, and I've thought of him each time. This connection of mine will never fail. 

Lego House

Ed Sheeran

Sophia wears braces and Sophia likes Ron Weasley.

Life 

SHINee

Uy was so kind enough to request this song for me to be played on the radio! Which I missed out because I was buried under the VCE tyranny. 

Make Love 

Taeyang FT Kush

Dad was driving in the rain on the road that had the orange sticks coming from the side. I forgot where we were heading to, nevertheless I always loved a good long drive in the rain. 

Teenage Dream

Katy Perry 

Sang this acapella style with Sophie during English class. We even sat up the front! Our infamous duet did loosen up our a bit of our nerves during our final year of high school...or we just went plain insane. 

Wannabe 

Spice Girls 

Only for Janet and Jp. I humiliated myself at rapping and singing this song during Singstar. They knew I wasn't good and I knew I wasn't good either! We all laughed our butts off. Why? Cause that's what love does. Other Singstar songs I've shunned to my name: Mr. Roboto and So Happy Together

This Time

Rico Love

I was in the study room secretly going through Stephinee's Ipod (Ipods weren't allowed at school). I was sitting near her desk, with my rain jacket opened widely to cover my arms and the device when I across this song. 

Unchained Melody 

The Righteous Brothers 

I remember watching Ghost for the first time with Lanneth on messenger - oh this girl  ♥ 

Hey What's Going On? 

Ermmm...makes me think of Yen.